What to write in a slacker’s letter of reference:

• “You would be fortunate to get this person to work for you.”
• “No one would be better for this position.”
• “He doesn’t care how many hours he must put in.”
• “There is nothing you can teach him.”
• “I refer him with no qualifications whatsoever.”
• “Waste no time in making him an offer.”

“All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly.”