The Rhinoceros Party of Canada claimed to have an appropriate mascot, as politicians by nature are “thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces.” Platform planks:

• repealing gravity
• providing higher education by building taller schools
• tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the sun set
• abolishing the environment “because it’s too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space”
• putting the national debt on Visa

Compare New Zealand’s McGillicuddy Serious Party, whose policies included “full unemployment” and the introduction of chocolate fish as legal tender. “If you want to waste your vote, vote for us.”