Unfortunate grave inscriptions, collected by Susan Darling Safford in Quaint Epitaphs (1895):

The little hero that lies here
Was conquered by the diarrhoea.
(Portland, Maine)

JOHN PHILLIPS
Accidentally shot as a mark of affection by his brother.
(Maine)

Our little Jacob has been taken away to bloom in a superior flower pot above.
(Vermont)

Beneath this stone our baby lays,
He neither crys nor hollers.
He lived just one and twenty days,
And cost us forty dollars.
(Vermont)

Grim death took little Jerry,
The son of Joseph and Sereno Howells,
Seven days he wrestled with the dysentery
And then he perished in his little bowels.
(Vermont)

Here lies the body of Dr. Hayward,
A man who never voted.
Of such is the kingdom of Heaven.
(Wayland, Massachusetts)