You’d pay $1,000 to witness my mastery of the black arts, wouldn’t you? Of course you would.

1. Buy a brand-new deck of cards.
2. Discard the jokers, cut the deck 13 times, and deal it into 13 piles.
3. Now stand back … Ph’nglui mglw’nafh C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
4. Look at the cards. Presto! They have magically grouped themselves by value — all the aces are in one pile, kings in another, etc.

You owe me $1,000.