Fingernails grow up to four times faster than toenails.
Author: Greg Ross
“Get Thee Behind Me”
Here’s one way to beat temptation: file a lawsuit. In 1971, Gerald Mayo sued “Satan and his staff” in U.S. District Court for the Western District of Pennsylvania. He alleged that “Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in his path and has caused plaintiff’s downfall” and had therefore “deprived him of his constitutional rights,” a violation of the U.S. Code.
The court noted that jurisdiction was uncertain; legally the devil might count as a foreign prince. Also, Mayo’s claim seemed appropriate for a class action suit, and it wasn’t clear that Mayo could represent all of humanity. Finally, no one was sure how the U.S. Marshal could serve process on Satan.
So the devil got away. Mayo’s case has been cited several times, and has never been overturned or contradicted.
Extreme Hospitality
Except for the beds, Sweden’s Ice Hotel is made completely of ice blocks — 60 rooms and suites, a bar, a reception area and a chapel, 30,000 square feet in all. Even the glasses in the bar are made of ice. You can book a room for about $400, but hurry — it melts in May.
Its alter ego is the Uyuni Salt Hotel, in Bolivia, where everything — including the beds — is made of salt. (Photo (c)2005 Tom Corser, www.tomcorser.com.)
Clinton and E-Mail
Bill Clinton sent only two e-mails during his entire eight-year term in office. One was to test the system; the other was to congratulate John Glenn on his return to space.
Both are archived in Clinton’s presidential library.
Hello?
Until 2000, calling 760-733-9969 would connect you to a single phone booth in the Mojave desert, 15 miles from the nearest interstate and miles from any building.
Tired of vandalism, Pacific Bell finally took down the booth. Fans put up a headstone, but they took that down too. Killjoys.
Formal Thai
Bangkok’s full name is Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit.
It means “the city of angels, the great city, the eternal jewel city, the impregnable city of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous royal palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated god, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukarn.”
Landmarks in Medicine, #1
Treatment for sore throat, diphtheria, and scarlet fever from The Confederate Receipt Book, 1868:
Mix in a common size cup of fresh milk two teaspoonfuls of pulverized charcoal and ten drops of spirits of turpentine. Soften the charcoal with a few drops of milk before putting into the cup. Gargle frequently, according to the violence of the symptoms.
“David Hulk Banner”
Silliest British name changes of 2005, according to The Sun:
- Tim Mind Your Own Business And Kiss My Arsenal Swain
- Solar Fruitbat Samba
- Nineteen Sixty-Eight
- Rhyme-Master Joey Joe Joe Toasterface
- Jellyfish McSaveloy
- Nigel Bottomface
In 2002, Richard James of St. Albans agreed to change his name to Mr. Yellow-Rat Foxysquirrel Fairydiddle in exchange for a pint of beer. He paid $70 to make the change official, then realized he didn’t have enough money to change it back.
Prohibition and the Family
A letter to the Seattle Bureau of Prohibition, Sept. 12, 1931:
Dear Sir:
My husband is in the habit of buying a quart of wiskey every other day from a Chinese bootlegger named Chin Waugh living at 317-16th near Alder street.
We need this money for household expenses. Will you please have his place raided? He keeps a supply planted in the garden and a smaller quantity under the back steps for quick delivery. If you make the raid at 9:30 any morning you will be sure to get the goods and Chin also as he leaves the house at 10 o’clock and may clean up before he goes.
Thanking you in advance, I remain yours truly,
Mrs. Hillyer
A Symmetric To-Do List
Headmaster’s Palindromic List on His Memo Pad
| Test on Erasmus | Dr. of Law |
| Deliver slap | Stop dynamo (OTC) |
| Royal: phone no.? | Tel: Law re Kate Race |
| Ref. Football. | Caps on for prep |
| Is sofa sitable on? | Pots — no tops |
| XI — Staff over | Knit up ties (“U”) |
| Sub-edit Nurse’s order | Ned (re paper) |
| Caning is on test (snub slip-up) | Eve’s simple hot dish (crib) |
| Birch (Sid) to help Miss Eve | Pupil’s buns |
| Repaper den | T-set: no sign in a/c |
| Use it | Red roses |
| Put inkspot on stopper | Run Tide Bus? |
| Prof. — no space | Rev off at six |
| Caretaker (wall, etc.) | Noel Bat is a fossil |
| Too many d—- pots | Lab to offer one “Noh” play–or “Pals Reviled”? |
| Wal for duo? (I’d name Dr. O) | Sums are not set. |
| See few owe fees (or demand IOU?) |
— Winning entry in a New Statesman palindrome competition, 1967