In 1908 two burglars stole a set of silverware from the sideboard in Mark Twain’s house.
He posted this message on his front door:
Author: Greg Ross
The “Un-Word”
Every year since 1991, a panel of German linguists has identified a term that violates human rights or infringes democratic principles:
1991: ausländerfrei (“free of foreigners”)
1992: ethnische Säuberung (“ethnic cleansing”)
1996: Rentnerschwemme (“flood of senior/retired citizens”)
1999: Kollateralschaden (“collateral damage”)
2005: Entlassungsproduktivität (“layoff productivity,” a surge in productivity induced by laying off workers)
2008: notleidende Banken (“suffering/needy banks”)
2014: Lügenpresse (“lying press”)
2019: Klimahysterie (“climate hysteria”)
The terms are usually German, but not always. In 1994 the word was peanuts, after Deutsche Bank’s chairman used that term to refer to 50 million Deutsche Marks.
Offering
In Have Ye No Homes To Go To?, his 2016 history of the Irish pub, Kevin Martin quotes an 11th-century poem attributed to St. Brigid of Kildare, who once turned water into beer:
I’d like to give a lake of beer to God.
I’d love the heavenly
Host to be tippling there
For all eternity.
I’d love the men of Heaven to live with me,
To dance and sing.
If they wanted, I’d put at their disposal
Vats of suffering.
I’d sit with the men, the women of God
There by the lake of beer
We’d be drinking good health forever
And every drop would be a prayer.
To Whom It May Concern
Carved into a hill in Dorset is the Cerne Abbas Giant, a 55-meter nude figure that carries a club and is rather obviously male. In November 1932 the Home Office received a letter from local resident Walter L. Long on which he’d sketched the giant. He wrote:
If this sketch offends, please remember that we have the same subject, representing a giant 27,000 times life size, facing the main road from Dorchester to Sherborne, and only some quarter to half a mile distant.
With the support of the Bishop of Salisbury, another Bishop, and representatives of other religions, I appealed to the National Trust, but this society exists only to preserve that which is entrusted to it, and consequently does not consider the obscenity of this figure is a matter on which I can act. In this figure’s counterpart in Sussex, Sex has been eliminated altogether; the other extreme.
Were the Cerne Giant converted into a simple nude, no exception would be taken to it. It is its impassioned obscenity that offends all who have the interest of the rising generation at heart, and I, we, appeal to you to make this figure conform to our Christian standards of civilization.
Archival records show that the matter was referred to one S.W. Harris, who debated what would satisfy Mr. Long. Should they call the police? Plant some strategic fig trees? He noted that the figure had stood without complaint for two or three thousand years, “or from 1/3 to one half the Biblical age of the Earth.” At last he sent this reply:
With reference to your letter of 14th November, I am directed by the Secretary of State to say that he has caused inquiry to be made and finds that the prehistoric figure of which you complain — the Giant of Cerne — is a national monument, scheduled as such, and vested in the National Trust. In the circumstances the Secretary of State regrets that he cannot see his way to take any action in the matter.
Seven years later Harris shared Long’s letter with a colleague, who wrote of the giant, “He is an old scandal, but he has stood there and scandalised for thousands of years and I hope [he] will do so for thousands more.”
(National Archives, In Their Own Words: Letters From History, 2016.)
In a Word
epinician
adj. celebrating victory
rovery
n. an act of straying in thought
peripeteia
n. a sudden turn of events or an unexpected reversal
algedonic
adj. pertaining to both pleasure and pain
In the 1934 US Open Championship at Merion, Philadelphia, [Bobby Cruickshank] was leading after two rounds and going well in the third round. His approach to the 11th hole was slightly spared and to his dismay he saw the ball falling short into the brook which winds in front of the green.
The ball landed on a rock which was barely covered by water, rebounded high into the air and landed on the green. Cruickshank jubilantly tossed his club into the air, tipped his cap and shouted ‘Thank you, God.’ Further expressions of gratitude were cut short as the descending club landed on top of his head and knocked him out cold. He recovered his senses but not the impetus of his play and finished third.
— Peter Dobereiner, The Book of Golf Disasters, 1986
Dried Cats
In order to protect new structures from harm, or to bring good luck, some European cultures used to conceal the bodies of cats on the premises, inside hollow walls, under floorboards, or in attics. The two shown here were discovered in the Stag Inn in Hastings, East Sussex, which was built in the 16th century. Sometimes the animals have been posed with prey, as here, but happily it appears that they weren’t walled in while still alive; in some cases they’ve been found in places that they couldn’t possibly have reached on their own.
I wonder if this practice explains a couple other instances that I’ve come across over the years. The Guildhall Library has some further examples.
All Together Now
Tomorrow’s date will be written as an eight-digit palindrome around the world, the first time this has happened in 900 years.
The coincidence is rare because countries use differing conventions. February 2, 2020, is a palindrome whether expressed as day/month/year (02/02/2020), month/day/year (02/02/2020), or year/month/day (2020/02/02).
This happened last on November 11, 1111, and it won’t happen again until March 3, 3030.
02/01/2020 UPDATE: A number of readers have pointed out that 12/12/2121 works fine too, and it’s barely more than a century away.
Unquote
“Music is the pleasure the human soul experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting.” — Leibniz
“The composer opens the cage door for arithmetic, the draftsman gives geometry its freedom.” — Cocteau
“All musicians are subconsciously mathematicians.” — Thelonious Monk
Policy
Mark Twain received so many letters from would-be authors that he prepared a standard reply:
Dear Sir or Madam,–Experience has not taught me very much, still it has taught me that it is not wise to criticise a piece of literature, except to an enemy of the person who wrote it; then if you praise it that enemy admires you for your honest manliness, and if you dispraise it he admires you for your sound judgment.
Yours truly,
S.L.C.
Black and White
Luigi Ceriani published this curiously ambivalent retrograde puzzle in Europe Echecs in 1960. White is to mate in two moves.
The answer turns on whether White can castle kingside and whether Black can castle queenside. Castling is always deemed to be legal unless it can be proven otherwise. The question of White’s castling comes down to the origin of the rook on a6. If that started on h1, then White may not castle because the rook that’s currently on h1 obviously must have moved in order to get there. If the rook on a6 started on a1, then again White may not castle, because in that case the rook must have got to its present position via e1, since the pawn originally on a2 can have reached its present position on b3 only after the knight on a1 had itself moved there from b3.
That means that if the rook on a6 is not a promoted piece, White cannot castle. If it is a promoted piece, then Black cannot castle, because the white pawn that was promoted must have passed over either d7 or f7 first, which would have forced the black king to move if it had been on its original square. Hence either castling by White or castling by Black is impossible.
Well, if castling by Black is impossible, then White can win by castling himself, since then Black has no escape from 2. Rf8#. And if castling by White is impossible, then White can capture the b5 pawn en passant (followed by mate with the queen), because if Black’s king and rook have not moved then Black’s last move must have been b7-b5. (His last move cannot have been b6-b5 because that would leave White no possible previous move. As it is, with Black’s last move being b7-b5, White’s preceding move must have been R[c6]xa6+.)
(Via John M. Rice, An ABC of Chess Problems, 1970.) (Maybe I’m being obtuse, but isn’t it possible that neither side can castle? In that case both proposed mates fall apart and I don’t see how White can succeed.)
02/03/2020 UPDATE: Ach, I’d just given the answer to my own question: Castling is deemed to be legal unless it can be proven otherwise, and it can’t be proven that neither side can castle. (Thanks, David and Daniel.)