If you are somewhere else, you are not here.
You are not in Rome; you are somewhere else.
Therefore you are not here.
Author: Greg Ross
Unquote
“The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.” — Edward R. Murrow
“To see what is in front of one’s nose requires a constant struggle.” — George Orwell
“How hard I find it to see what is right in front of my eyes!” — Wittgenstein
The Champion
A group of us had gone to the pier to have dinner at a little fish restaurant, and while waiting to be served, Charlie Chaplin noticed a sign across the way that read, ‘Scientific Handwriting Analysis. Ten Cents.’ Charlie decided, as a joke, to try the expert out. Aldous [Huxley] stopped him. It would be too simple for a swami to ‘read’ for Charlie because his appearance was familiar to practically everyone in the world. On the other hand no one would recognize Aldous. So Charlie wrote a few words on a scrap of paper which Aldous took to the lady. He returned from his interview in a mood of deep concentration and reported what had happened. The lady had studied the writing a moment and then looked up at Aldous suspiciously. ‘Are you trying to make fun of me, sir?’ she asked. Aldous assured her he was not and wanted to know why she asked. She paused and studied Charlie’s writing more closely. Then, still suspicious, she asked, ‘Did you write this while you were in an unnatural or cramped position?’ Aldous then admitted that the writing was not his own but he assured the lady that it had been done quite normally. ‘Then,’ said the expert, ‘I don’t know what to say, because if what you tell me is true, the man who wrote this is a God-given genius.’
— Anita Loos in Aldous Huxley: A Memorial Volume, ed. Julian Huxley, 1965
In a Word
pandiculation
n. the act of stretching oneself
The Guzman Prize
In December 1900, a French committee offered 100,000 francs to the first person to make contact with intelligent beings on another planet.
Martians were excluded as too easy.
(Thanks, Tom.)
“Another Paradox”
If a cork ball about an inch in diameter be tied at the end of a thread about a foot in length, and then swung so that it enters a smooth stream of water flowing from a tap at about three inches from the mouth of the latter, it will be found that the ball will remain in the water, and that the thread will make an angle of about thirty degrees with a vertical line passing through the ball. The latter, it should be added, must be thoroughly wetted before this result is produced.
— Strand, September 1908
Fooled Again
Court transcript quoted by Rodney Jones in Disorderly Conduct: Verbatim Excerpts From Actual Cases, 1987:
The Court: I got the Quadrophenia, but then he said somebody played in it, and I didn’t get that.
Prosecutor: The Who.
The Court: The what?
Witness: Musicians.
Prosecutor: The Who.
Witness: The Who.
The Court: Who?
Witness: The Who. That’s the name of the band.
The Court: So that’s the name of the group, the Who?
Witness: Yes, the Who.
The Court: Not the What? The Who?
Witness: No, the Who.
The Court: You got it, everybody? The Quadrophenia is a movie with the Who.
Witness: Punk rockers.
The Court: All right.
Misc
- ALONE and UPRAISE can be beheaded twice and retain their essential meanings.
- Evelyn Waugh’s first wife was named Evelyn.
- 1033 = 81 + 80 + 83 + 83
- Can a shadow rotate?
- “Genius is nothing but a greater aptitude for patience.” — Benjamin Franklin
Math Notes
20864448472975628947226005981267194447042584001 = (2 + 0 + 8 + 6 + 4 + 4 + 4 + 8 + 4 + 7 + 2 + 9 + 7 + 5 + 6 + 2 + 8 + 9 + 4 + 7 + 2 + 2 + 6 + 0 + 0 + 5 + 9 + 8 + 1 + 2 + 6 + 7 + 1 + 9 + 4 + 4 + 4 + 7 + 0 + 4 + 2 + 5 + 8 + 4 + 0 + 0 + 1)20
Moving Without Motion?
Achilles-weed is prostrate and grows along the ground at the amazing rate of 10 cm per hour. An exceeding slow tortoise munches one end of the Achilles-weed at the same rate as it grows at the other end. So the tortoise appears to chase the Achilles-weed round the garden. But, strictly speaking, the Achilles-weed does not move at all, it grows and is eaten. Yet its location changes, and it is made up of parts whose location changes (the left and right-hand halves of the Achilles-weed). Hence being made up of parts whose location changes is not sufficient for motion.
— Peter Forrest, “Is Motion Change of Location?”, Analysis, 1984