Altered States

There’s a girl out in Ann Arbor, Mich.,
To meet whom I never would wich.
She’d gobble ice cream
Till with colic she’d scream,
Then order another big dich.

A handsome young gent down in Fla.
Collapsed in a hospital ca.
A young nurse from Me.
Sought to banish his pe.
And shot him. Now what could be ha.?

There was a young lady from Del.
Who was most undoubtedly wel.
That to dress for a masque
Wasn’t much of a tasque,
But she cried, “What the heck will my fel.?”

There are plenty of people in Md.
Who think that their state is a fd.
It seems odd to find
That they don’t really mind
That Wis., not Md., is Dd.

See This Sceptred Isle.

| Language · Poems

Prince and Misprints

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Henry_Fuseli_rendering_of_Hamlet_and_his_father's_Ghost.JPG

In 1889 Fredericka Beardsley Gilchrist advanced a theory that the entire meaning of Hamlet has been confused because of a typographical error. In Act I, Scene V, the ghost reveals to Hamlet his mother’s adultery and his father’s murder. Hamlet responds:

O all you host of heaven! O earth! what else?
And shall I couple hell? O fie!

Gilchrist maintains that the second line should read:

And shall I couple? Hell! O fie!

In other words, “And after this shall I also marry? No!” He gives up his love for Ophelia, and the rest of the play is the story of “an unhappy lover.”

For Gilchrist this is “the one key that unlocks every difficulty in the play”: “For nearly three hundred years it has been possible to misunderstand, not special passages only, but the fundamental intention of the play; during that time no satisfactory explanation of all its obscurities has been advanced. I believe this theory explains them; and this belief, based on careful study and comparison, ought to excuse the seeming vanity and presumption of the preceding statement.”

Decide for yourself — her book is here.

| Literature

Math Notes

1212 + 1388 + 2349 = 4949; 49493 = 121213882349
1287 + 1113 + 2649 = 5049; 50493 = 128711132649
1623 + 2457 + 1375 = 5455; 54553 = 162324571375
1713 + 2377 + 1464 = 5554; 55543 = 171323771464
3689 + 1035 + 2448 = 7172; 71723 = 368910352448

| Science & Math

The Paradox of Loyalty

I feel loyal to someone because of a bond of family, friendship, collaboration, or purpose. I’m moved by an idealistic sense of duty. But in supporting him I’m committing myself to the welfare of an individual person — and that’s practically the opposite of idealism.

“The first assumption casts the loyal agent as praiseworthy from an impartial point of view,” writes Irish philosopher Philip Pettit. “The second presents him as the very exemplar of partial concern. … To be loyal is to be dedicated to a particular individual’s welfare, and that seems to conflict with the idea that the loyal agent is idealistic or dutiful.”

See Meek Chic.

| Society

“Effen Uyt”

These Flemish Words are on a very antient funeral Monument of whitish Marble, on which are engraved a Pair of Slippers of a very singular kind. Effen Uyt means Exactly. The Story is, that a Man tolerably rich, and who dearly loved good Eating, took it into his Head that he was only to live a certain Number of Years, and no longer. In this Whimsey he counted that if he spent so much a Year, his Estate and his Life would expire together. It happened by chance that he was not deceived in either of these Computations. He died precisely at the Time he had prescribed to himself in his Imagination, and had then brought his Fortune to such a Pass, that, after paying his Debts, he had nothing left but a Pair of Slippers. His Relations buried him creditably, and would have the Slippers carved on his Tomb, with the abovementioned Laconic Device.

— John Hackett, Select and Remarkable Epitaphs on Illustrious and Other Persons, in Several Parts of Europe, 1757

| Death

Jackpot

http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=GCIdAAAAEBAJ

Edward B. Kaplan patented a unique idea in 1995: a braille slot machine.

A pad of pins corresponds to each reel in the machine; as the reels spin, the braille display changes under the player’s fingers until the winning combination is displayed. If the player wins, the machine vibrates slightly.

Any winnings are credited to the machine until the player presses a payout button. “This will also deter any theft from any other individuals.”

| Entertainment · Technology

Applied Chemistry

When Hitler’s army marched into Copenhagen, Niels Bohr had to decide how to safeguard the Nobel medals of James Franck and Max von Laue, which they had entrusted to him. Sending gold out of the country was almost a capital offense, and the physicists’ names were engraved on the medals, making such an attempt doubly risky. Burying the medals seemed uncertain as well. Finally his friend the Hungarian physicist Georg von Hevesy invented a novel solution: He dissolved the medals in a jar of aqua regia, which Bohr left on a shelf in his laboratory while he fled to Sweden.

When he returned in 1945, the jar was still there. Bohr had the gold recovered, and the Nobel Foundation recast it into two medals.

(Chemist Hermann Mark found a way to escape Germany with his money: He used it to buy platinum wire, which he fashioned into coat hangers. Once he had brought these successfully through customs, he sold them to recover the money.)

| History · Science & Math

One-Handed Ballplayers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mordecai_Brown_Baseball.jpg

Hugh “One-Arm” Daily lost his left arm in a gun accident but went on to win 73 games as a professional pitcher between 1882 and 1887, including a no-hitter.

Mordecai “Three-Finger” Brown (above) lost two fingers in farm machinery as a boy but pitched for 13 seasons between 1903 and 1916, finishing with 1,375 strikeouts.

Pete Gray lost his right arm in a wagon accident but played briefly for the St. Louis Browns in 1945, fielding with a glove but transferring the ball to his bare hand to throw.

A reporter once asked Brown whether lacking a finger made it harder to pitch. “Don’t know,” he said. “Never done it the other way.”

| Entertainment

Twice Told

Do those, said he, who learn, learn what they know, or what they do not know?

Cleinias had answered Euthydemus that those who learned learn what they do not know; and he put him through a series of questions the same as before.

Do you not know letters?

He assented.

All letters?

Yes.

But when the teacher dictates to you, does he not dictate letters?

To this also he assented.

Then if you know all letters, he dictates that which you know?

This again was admitted by him.

Then, said the other, you do not learn that which he dictates; but he only who does not know letters learns?

Nay, said Cleinias; but I do learn.

Then, said he, you learn what you know, if you know all the letters?

He admitted that.

Then, he said, you were wrong in your answer.

— Plato, Euthydemus

| Science & Math