“Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool.'” — Paul McCartney
Entertainment
Donald Duck’s Middle Name
Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.
Star Wars Hit Probability Equation
From Bespin to Yavin, the “Star Wars Hit Probability Equation” predicts the outcome of any battle:
n is the number of “bad guys,” x is the number of “good guys,” and J is the number of Jedi present (if any).
The equation reads, “The probability of a bad guy hitting his target is equal to the inverse of all bad guys present plus the cube of the number of good guys present (plus one) plus the number of Jedi present (plus one) to the 10th power.”
So the presence of a good guy reduces the bad guys’ accuracy, and having even one Jedi present is bad news for the Empire.
Wife Carrying Championship
This July saw the Ninth Annual Wife-Carrying World Championship in Sonkajärvi, Finland.
The event, inspired by a proud Finnish history of wife-stealing, involves flinging a woman over your back and sprinting past obstacles to a finish line 253 meters away. Rules:
- “The wife to be carried may be your own, the neighbour’s or you may have found her farther afield,” but she has to be at least 108 pounds and 17 years old.
- If you drop your wife you’re fined 15 seconds.
- The only equipment allowed is a belt worn by the carrier.
The world record is 55.5 seconds, and the winner (Estonia) gets his wife’s weight in beer.
Barbie
“Barbie is the ultimate ambassador for girls,” says Mattel. That’s a little dubious, given her bio. Does this sound like your daughter?
“Barbara Millicent Roberts” attended Willows High School in Willows, Wis., and Manhattan International High School in New York City. She has 38 pets, including cats, dogs, horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She also owns numerous cars, including several pink convertibles, and she operates commercial airliners when she’s not serving as a stewardess.
She dated Ken Carson for 43 years before dumping him to run for president in 2004. (Platform: create world peace, help the homeless, take care of animals.) As experience, her handlers cited “serving in the military, acting as a UNICEF ambassador and being a teacher.”
They also said she was “well-rounded.” That’s for sure. At life size, Barbie would be 5 foot 9 and measure 36-18-33. But it turns out you can be too rich and too thin: According to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, Barbie would have too little body fat to menstruate.
The Breakfast of Champions
Michael Jordan has appeared on a Wheaties box 18 times.
No Mickey Mouse Outfit
Disneyland would fit in Disney World’s parking lot.
Aileen Pringle
In the 1924 silent film Three Weeks, Conrad Nagel tenderly picks up Aileen Pringle to carry her into the bedroom.
Lip readers noted that she appears to be saying, “If you drop me, you bastard, I’ll break your neck.”
Unquote
“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.” — Charlie Chaplin
The King and I
The King and I has never been performed in Thailand.