The Spectator once ran a competition asking its readers “What would you most like to read on opening the morning paper?” One reader submitted this entry:

Our Second Competition

The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to read on opening his paper was headed, ‘Our Second Competition,’ and was as follows: ‘The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to read on opening his paper was headed “Our Second Competition,” but owing to paper restrictions we cannot print all of it.’

Why should not a chicken cross the road?
It would be a fowl proceeding.

— Potter’s American Monthly, 1892

Three men are stranded on a desert island when a bottle washes up on the shore. When they uncork the bottle, a genie appears and offers each a wish.

The first man wishes he were in Paris. The genie snaps his fingers, and the man instantly disappears.

The second man wishes he were in Hollywood, and at a snap of the genie’s fingers, he too vanishes.

The third man, now alone on the island, looks around and says, “I wish my friends were back.”