See Other Sign

Pity the sign makers in this Welsh village:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:LlanfairLARGE.jpg

That’s the longest place name in the United Kingdom. It’s Welsh for “St. Mary’s church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St. Tysilio of the red cave.”

That doesn’t take the prize, though. The longest place name in an English-speaking country belongs to a hill on New Zealand’s North Island:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:New_Zealand_0577.jpg

It means “the summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who traveled about, played his flute to his loved one.”

Waste Not, Want Not

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Wesminster_Hall_and_Bridge_edited.jpg

Here’s Wordsworth’s “Upon Westminster Bridge”:

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth like a garment wear
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky;
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour valley, rock, or hill;
Ne’er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!

Why start over? Wayne Carlson rearranged the words to make a new poem:

A city is lying still, asleep in the dull morning;
A steep hill towers more unto the smokeless sky,
Touching the heart and soul of God.
Bare fields doth lie in the valley,
Like ships that glideth, all silent in the river.
I saw all His own houses, now temples to the sun;
Sight at first has never felt more dear.
Who would not wear His gament, open to the calm air?
Could anything be so beautifully bright and glittering?
He will never show its theatres and domes;
Or pass by this fair Earth; a mighty rock,
Of very deep beauty, splendour, and majesty
Ne’er did seem so sweet!

A Biblical Pangram

Ezra 7:21 contains every letter except J:

And I, even I, Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.

Numerical Pangrams

A pangram is a sentence that uses each letter of the alphabet exactly once:

CWM FJORD BANK GLYPHS VEXT QUIZ.

“Carved symbols in a mountain hollow and on the bank of a fjord irritated an eccentric person.” They’re a bit awkward in English, so here’s the same idea using numbers. Each of these (valid) equations uses the digits 1-9 exactly once:

42 × 138 = 5796
27 × 198 = 5346
39 × 186 = 7254
48 × 159 = 7632
28 × 157 = 4396
4 × 1738 = 6952
4 × 1963 = 7852

Even better: The numbers 3 and 51249876, between them, use all 9 digits — and so does their product, 153749628.

Fenetix

A “sonic alphabet” composed by Harry Mathews:

Hay, be seedy! He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man, O peek! You are rusty, you’ve edible, you ex-wise he!

Read it aloud. In 1886, J.H. Lundgren composed this sentence for Notes and Queries:

Oh Ellen, pea jay, ivy effigy, double you are! empty essay! why? you see age decay; be excused!

“It will be observed that the actual sounds (names) of the twenty-six letters of the alphabet are here represented by the several syllables of the eighteen words employed, and with the exception of ‘age’ for H, almost correctly. A perfectly faultless rendering may perhaps not be attainable.”

All Aboard

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Washington_Crossing_the_Delaware.png

What’s odd about this sonnet, composed in 1936 by David Shulman?

A hard, howling, tossing water scene.
Strong tide was washing hero clean.
“How cold!” Weather stings as in anger.
O Silent night shows war ace danger!

The cold waters swashing on in rage.
Redcoats warn slow his hint engage.
When star general’s action wish’d “Go!”
He saw his ragged continentals row.

Ah, he stands – sailor crew went going.
And so this general watches rowing.
He hastens – winter again grows cold.
A wet crew gain Hessian stronghold.

George can’t lose war with’s hand in;
He’s astern – so go alight, crew, and win!

Each line is an anagram of WASHINGTON CROSSING THE DELAWARE.