Henny Youngman by Telephone

Henny Youngman jokes after 10 consecutive translations:

A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says, “Next!”
A man enters siquiatra felt “Nobody me!” They are indicated with respect to him of the doctor, “Next!”

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
The horse, that one that I bet, were, the pulley of tenditrice arrested for him therefore diem of a slow illuminated course.

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Are you he your protection that protects or takes a hut?

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
The purchase of the moglie of the mine everything, of that the deep one for if it indicates. Slipping the scale it bought last year one.

I just finished my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get wounded by a blank?
I exactly finished to my forms they imposed them on the rent. Who visualizes that you cannot be the damages you of a white man?

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she’d kill me. She thinks I’m selling dope.
If the mine to nut/mother that he knew, I did this for a duration, he I I would destroy it. You think about that sells the representative in the painting.

Six Stick Shifts Stuck Shut

Dangerous tongue twisters:

I am not the pheasant plucker,
I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
Because the pheasant plucker’s late.

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit;
and on the slitted sheet I sit.

I’m not the fig plucker,
Nor the fig pluckers’ son,
But I’ll pluck figs
Till the fig plucker comes.

Anagrams

Anagrams:

  • DEBIT CARD = BAD CREDIT
  • MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER
  • SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ‘EM
  • DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT
  • ASTRONOMER = MOON STARER
  • ELECTION RESULTS = LIES — LET’S RECOUNT

And SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S.