Hamlet’s “To be, or not to be” soliloquy rendered in Anglic, a simplified system of English spelling proposed in 1930 by Swedish philologist Robert Eugen Zachrisson:

To be, or not to be: that is the questshon:
Whedher ’tis noebler in the miend to sufer
The slingz and aroz of outraejus fortuen,
Or to taek armz agaenst a see of trublz,
And by opoezing end them? To die: to sleep;
Noe mor; and by a sleep to sae we end
The hart-aek and the thouzend natueral shoks
That flesh is aer to, ’tis a konsumaeshon
Devoutli to be wisht. To die, to sleep;
To sleep! perchaans to dreem: ie, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of deth what dreemz mae kum,
When we hav shufled off this mortl koil,
Must giv us pauz: there’s the respekt
That maeks kalamiti of soe long lief.

The Gettysburg Address would begin: “Forskor and sevn yeerz agoe our faadherz braut forth on this kontinent a nue naeshon, konseevd in liberti, and dedikaeted to the propozishon that aul men are kreaeted eequel.”

The first edition of the Collins COBUILD English Language Dictionary (1987) contains a fictitious entry, presumably to catch content thieves:

hink, hinks, hinking, hinked. If you hink, you think hopefully and unrealistically about something.

Phony or not, this is a useful word. If it’s adopted widely enough, perhaps the dictionary entry will bootstrap itself into legitimacy.

[Screenwriter Harry] Kurnitz’ most quoted observation was made when he became involved in a running feud with Lynn Loesser, then the wife of Frank Loesser, the songwriter.

‘Lynn,’ Kurnitz said, ‘is the evil of two Loessers.’

— Richard Gehman, “The Little World of Harry Kurnitz,” Playboy, June 1958

contubernal
adj. living in the same tent

Synonyms for WRITER’S CRAMP collected by Dmitri Borgmann in 1987:

CHIROSPASM
WRITERS’ PALSY
GRAPHOSPASM
SCRIVENERS’ PALSY
MOGIGRAPHIA or MOGOGRAPHIA
PENMAN’S SPASM
WRITERS’ NEUROSIS
HYPERKINESIA
DYSGRAPHIA
WRITERS’ SPASM
A STUTTERING OF THE HAND

MOGIGRAPHIA has four principal forms: SPASTIC, PARALYTIC, NEURALGIC, and TREMULOUS. Borgmann wrote, “No longer need you suffer from the WRITER’S CRAMP of the masses — you can, instead, discourse eloquently and frequently about the plethora of more elegant-sounding ailments that I have made available to you!”

(Dmitri A. Borgmann, “Quelque Chose,” Word Ways 20:1 [February 1987], 44-53.)

Center Alley worse jester pore ladle gull hoe lift wetter stop-murder an toe heft-cisterns. Daze worming war furry wicket an shellfish parsons, spatially dole stop-murder, hoe dint lack Center Alley an, infect, word orphan traitor pore gull mar lichen ammonol dinner hormone bang. Oily inner moaning disk wicket oiled worming shorted, ‘Center Alley, gad otter bet, an goiter wark! Suture lacy ladle bomb! Shaker lake!’ an firm moaning tell gnat disk ratchet gull word heifer wark lacquer hearse toe kipper horsing ardor, washer heft-cistern’s closing, maker bets, gore tutor star fur perversions, cooker males, washer dashes an doe oily udder hoard wark. Nor wander pore Center Alley worse tarred an disgorged!

— Howard L. Chace, Anguish Languish, 1956

stillicide
n. the dropping of rainwater from the eaves of a house upon another’s land or roof

sub tegmine fagi
adv. under the cover of a beech tree

tenson
n. a contest in verse between rival troubadours