By Colorado classics teacher Jeremy Boor:
MP3, lyrics, and chords are on his website.
Language
Palinmorses
Morse code palindromes, contributed by reader Dave Lawrence:
ANNEXING ·- -· -· · -··- ·· -· --·
BEEFIEST -··· · · ··-· ·· · ··· -
DEFOREST -·· · ··-· --- ·-· · ··· -
ESTHETES · ··· - ···· · - · ···
FINAGLED ··-· ·· -· ·- --· ·-·· · -··
HEARTIES ···· · ·- ·-· - ·· · ···
HECTARES ···· · -·-· - ·- ·-· · ···
INDEBTED ·· -· -·· · -··· - · -··
INTERNAL ·· -· - · ·-· -· ·- ·-··
INTUITED ·· -· - ··- ·· - · -··
RECENTER ·-· · -·-· · -· - · ·-·
SATIATES ··· ·- - ·· ·- - · ···
SEVENTHS ··· · ···- · -· - ···· ···
SHEEPISH ··· ···· · · ·--· ·· ··· ····
SOPRANOS ··· --- ·--· ·-· ·- -· --- ···
SUBHEADS ··· ··- -··· ···· · ·- -·· ···
WAVERING ·-- ·- ···- · ·-· ·· -· --·
WRECKING ·-- ·-· · -.-· -.- ·· -· --·
ANTICKING ·- -· - ·· -·-· -·- ·· -· --·
FOOTSTOOL ··-· --- --- - ··· - --- --- ·-··
FRESHENED ··-· ·-· · ··· ···· · -· · -··
INCIDENCE ·· -· -·-· ·· -·· · -· -·-· ·
SATURATES ··· ·- - ··- ·-· ·- - · ···
SIDELINES ··· ·· -·· · ·-·· ·· -· · ···
INITIALLED ·· -· ·· - ·· ·- ·-·· ·-·· · -··
INTERSTICE ·· -· - · ·-· ··· - ·· -·-· ·
RESEARCHER ·-· · ··· · ·- ·-· -·-· ···· · ·-·
WINTERTIME ·-- ·· -· - · ·-· - ·· -- ·
ANTIQUATING ·- -· - ·· --·- ··- ·- - ·· -· --·
INTERPRETED ·· -· - · ·-· ·--· ·-· · - · -··
PROTECTORATE ·--· ·-· --- - · -·-· - --- ·-· ·- - ·
INTRANSIGENCE ·· -· - ·-· ·- -· ··· ·· --· · -· -·-· ·
He notes that, perhaps fittingly, the word with the longest run of dots is OBSESSIVE, with 18: --- -··· ··· · ··· ··· ·· ···- ·
In a Word
bedrabble
v. to make wet and dirty with rain and mud
Our change climatic
We think acrobatic
And sigh for a land that is better —
But the German will say,
In a very dry way,
That the weather with him is still Wetter.
— J.R. Joy, Yale Record, 1899
Misc
- Seattle is closer to Finland than to England.
- Is a candle flame alive?
- ABANDON is an anagram of A AND NO B.
- tan-1(1) + tan-1(2) + tan-1(3) = π
- “A thing is a hole in a thing it is not.” — Carl Andre
Detractors of Massachusetts governor Endicott Peabody said that three of the state’s towns had been named for him: Peabody, Marblehead, and Athol.
In a Word
auricomous
adj. golden-haired
flavicomous
adj. having yellow hair
melanocomous
adj. black-haired
lissotrichous
adj. having smooth hair
cymotrichous
adj. having wavy hair
crinicultural
adj. caring for the condition or appearance of the hair
floricomous
adj. having the head adorned with flowers
Punctual
Ernest Hemingway published this “blank verse” in his high school literary magazine in 1916:
Get it? David Morice followed up with this “punctuation poem” in Word Ways in February 2012:
% , & —
+ . ? /
” :
% ;
+ $ [ \
It’s a limerick:
Percent comma ampersand dash
Plus period question mark slash
Quotation mark colon
Percent semicolon
Plus dollar sign bracket backslash
(Thanks, Volodymyr.)
Isomorses
LEG and RUN share the same “bit” pattern in Morse code:
·-·· · --·
·-· ··- -·
So do EARN and URN (which are also homophones):
· ·- ·-· -·
··- ·-· -·
(Discovered by Philip Cohen.)
UPDATE: Reader Dave Lawrence wrote a script to find more of these. He found 2,900, including these highlights:
[one_third]TEMPT YAK[/one_third][one_third]ATTIC JINN[/one_third][one_third]SUAVE SINNER[/one_third]
[one_third]KILL TRUSTEE[/one_third][one_third]NIACIN BANNER[/one_third][one_third]CONVEX COBALT[/one_third]
[one_third]DRAIN NINETEEN[/one_third][one_third]WOMEN JOKE[/one_third][one_third]OMELETS TODDLE[/one_third]
[one_third]ENZYME APRON[/one_third][one_third]GOAT MEOW[/one_third][one_third]EMINENT PAINT[/one_third]
[one_third]ABSINTHE PHIALS[/one_third][one_third]NIPPLE BANANAS[/one_third][one_third]LEFTIE LEFTS[/one_third]
[one_third]CONTENT COCK[/one_third][one_third]DOTTY TUMMY[/one_third][one_third]PAPER WINGER[/one_third]
[one_third]EERIEST VISIT[/one_third][one_third]GENUINE GAVEL[/one_third][one_third]WETTEST ANGST[/one_third]
[one_third]SPEED SATIRE[/one_third][one_third]REUNITE LEPER[/one_third][one_third]COW COAT[/one_third]
[one_third]CINDER CURVE[/one_third][one_third]FUNK ELEMENT[/one_third][one_third]THOSE BAGS[/one_third]
[one_third]DELIVER BLISTER[/one_third][one_third]CAUSES CRASH[/one_third][one_third]DEFENSIVE THRASHER[/one_third]
[one_third]SKIN STAIN[/one_third][one_third]CHIMNEY CHUTNEY[/one_third][one_third]SOME VOTE[/one_third]
[one_third]PESKIER WHALER[/one_third][one_third]RANDY REMEDY[/one_third][one_third]ESTEEMED SAUCE[/one_third]
[one_third]MANGO TYPO[/one_third][one_third]TEXTUAL CANARD[/one_third][one_third]INANE FEZ[/one_third]
[one_third]REEXAMINE ASTEROID[/one_third][one_third]DEFILE BIBLE[/one_third][one_third]MILKMEN MIRROR[/one_third]
[one_third]BEAT THAT[/one_third][one_third]NEAREST DENTIST[/one_third][one_third]GRANDER GREMLIN[/one_third]
[one_third]TIGER TUNER[/one_third][one_third]SUCH HANDS[/one_third][one_third]INDEXED URINAL[/one_third]
[one_third]TICKLED NECTARINE[/one_third][one_third]JACK ATTACK[/one_third][one_third]GREENISH GLASSES[/one_third]
[one_third]BEBOP DUSTMAN[/one_third][one_third]PATIENCE WIZARD[/one_third][one_third]DRAMA NINJA[/one_third]
[one_third]BAROQUE BAROMETER[/one_third][one_third]NEURON BARON[/one_third][one_third]NEUTRON BACON[/one_third]
[one_third]DISK THEFT[/one_third][one_third]PAMPAS PEOPLE[/one_third][one_third]TROIKA COURT[/one_third]
[one_third]COLLIE TROLLS[/one_third][one_third]MINISCULE MINISKIRTS[/one_third][one_third]MATTED GORE[/one_third]
[one_third]INSULIN INHALER[/one_third][one_third]MEETING GETUP[/one_third][one_third]SELF SERVE[/one_third]
[one_third]KITTEN CAKE[/one_third][one_third]TRUTH CUBE[/one_third][one_third]CHAP TENSING[/one_third]
[one_third]PELICAN ABDICATE[/one_third][one_third]KALE TARTS[/one_third][one_third]TROUSER COUSIN[/one_third]
[one_third]VAST STREET[/one_third][one_third]DISTORTED DIVORCE[/one_third][one_third]BRUNETTE DELEGATE[/one_third]
[one_third]F*CKED ELEMENTAL[/one_third][one_third]MAIZE GNATS[/one_third][one_third]SPOUSE SWATTERS[/one_third]
[one_third]FIRMS INVADE[/one_third][one_third]CHIEF KISSER[/one_third][one_third]SWITCH SPACES[/one_third]
[one_third]THREE NESTS[/one_third][one_third]INVERTING FIRETRAP[/one_third][one_third]MOUSE OTTERS[/one_third]
[one_third]ANALYZE PARROTS[/one_third][one_third]AIMLESS RETCHES[/one_third][one_third]RAWHIDE RAPISTS[/one_third]
[one_third]MINIMAL GLANCE[/one_third][one_third]PRIESTS PRESIDE[/one_third][one_third]INBRED INTESTINE[/one_third]
[one_third]GUFFAW MILDLY[/one_third][one_third]MIDDAY GRAVY[/one_third][one_third]WONDER AMOEBAE[/one_third]
[one_third]PALE AXLE[/one_third][one_third]WHISKEY EMISSARY[/one_third][one_third]CAGED CAMEL[/one_third]
[one_third]MINTIER GENDER[/one_third][one_third]QUEER MAIDEN[/one_third][one_third]ASTERISK AIRLIFT[/one_third]
[one_third]SACRED SEQUEL[/one_third][one_third]ESPIED SEABED[/one_third][one_third]MAIM GNAT[/one_third]
[one_third]TURNIP TURBAN[/one_third][one_third_last]NIGHTIE NIGHTS[one_third_last]
DO IT NOW
ArnoldC, a language devised by Finnish computer programmer Lauri Hartikka, assigns programming functions to catch phrases from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Some keywords:
False: I LIED
True: NO PROBLEMO
If: BECAUSE I’M GOING TO SAY PLEASE
Else: BULLSHIT
EndIf: YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR LOGIC
While: STICK AROUND
EndWhile: CHILL
MultiplicationOperator: YOU’RE FIRED
DivisionOperator: HE HAD TO SPLIT
EqualTo: YOU ARE NOT YOU YOU ARE ME
GreaterThan: LET OFF SOME STEAM BENNET
Or: CONSIDER THAT A DIVORCE
And: KNOCK KNOCK
DeclareMethod: LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
MethodArguments: I NEED YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR MOTORCYCLE
Return: I’LL BE BACK
EndMethodDeclaration: HASTA LA VISTA, BABY
AssignVariableFromMethodCall: GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
ReadInteger: I WANT TO ASK YOU A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS AND I WANT TO HAVE THEM ANSWERED IMMEDIATELY
AssignVariable: GET TO THE CHOPPER
SetValue: HERE IS MY INVITATION
EndAssignVariable: ENOUGH TALK
ParseError: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG
This program prints the string “hello world”:
IT'S SHOWTIME TALK TO THE HAND "hello world" YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED
In a Word
naufrague
n. a shipwrecked person
In a Word
meretriculate
v. to deceive in the manner of a prostitute
BOW-STREET — Eliza Merchant, a black-eyed girl, of that class of women known as ‘unfortunates,’ was charged by Garnet Comerford, a sailor, with robbing him of four sovereigns, several dollars and half-crowns, and his shoes. The tar stated that on Wednesday evening, about eight o’clock he left the house of his Captain, the honourable Mr. Duncan, at the west end of town, intending to pay a visit to a sister, whom he had not seen since he left England in the Seringapatem. On the way, he met as tight a looking frigate as ever he clapt his eyes on. She hoisted friendly colours; he hove to; and they agreed together to steer into port. They sailed up the Strand, when she said she would tow him to a snug berth, and he should share her hammock for the night. He consented; and when he awoke in the morning he found that she had cut and run. His rigging had been thrown all about the room, his four sovereigns and silver, and shoes were carried off.
— The Morning Chronicle, Dec. 8, 1828