Bad Stanzas

From William Wordsworth, “Goody Blake and Harry Gill”:

Of waistcoats Harry has no lack,
Good duffle grey, and flannel fine;
He has a blanket on his back,
And coats enough to smother nine.

From Charles Wesley, “On the Sight of a Corpse”:

Ah lovely appearance of Death!
What sight upon earth is so fair?
Not all the gay pageants that breathe
Can with a dead body compare.

From Richard Le Gallienne, “Beauty Accurst”:

The sleepy kine move round me in desire
And press their oozy lips upon my hair,
Toads kiss my feet and creatures of the mire,
The snails will leave their shells to watch me there.

From John Scott of Amwell, “To a Friend, Apprehensive of Declining Friendship”:

Too much in man’s imperfect state
Mistake produces useless pain.–
Methinks, of friendship’s frequent fate
I hear my Frogley’s voice complain.

From Isaac Watts, “On the Sudden Death of Mrs. Mary Peacock”:

Hark! she bids all her friends adieu;
Some angel calls her to the spheres;
Our eyes the radiant saint pursue
Through liquid telescopes of tears.

In The Stuffed Owl, D. B. Wyndham Lewis quotes this anonymous verse:

I always knew what sort of weather
We were going to have,
For Cynthia never wore her feather
When the weather would be bad.

But when the days were warm and bright
Cynthia wore a feather,
Sometimes black and sometimes white,
The colour doesn’t count whatever.

Double Duty

J.A. Lindon composed this remarkable pair of monosyllabic poems in 1969. The two read the same, but each has its own rhyme scheme, and each is a distinct acrostic, the first letter of each line spelling out the title.

Cats, Cats, Cats, Cats!

Cats come with mews,
All have sharp claws,
They air their views.
Stray soon from laws,
Climb wall. Each tom
And each mog — grand
Thieves — munch meal from
Scamp’s lunch. Scamp planned …

Chain off, he might
Aim at a rout,
Touch mogs and bite
Such prime bits out!
Chance came. Grey dawn.
At once left mat.
The deuce! On lawn -­
Scamp loose — no cat!

Chase ’em, Scamp, Go On!

Cats come with mews, all
Have sharp claws, they
Air their views, stray
Soon from laws, climb wall.

Each tom and
Each mog — grand thieves — munch
Meal from Scamp’s lunch.
Scamp planned …

Chain off, he might aim
At a rout, touch
Mogs and bite such
Prime bits out. Chance came.

Grey dawn. At
Once left mat. The deuce!
On lawn — Scamp loose -­
No cat!

(J.A. Lindon and Walter Shedlofsky, “Convertible Acrostics,” Word Ways 2:3 [August 1969], 159-161.)

Applied Geometry

George Wither wrote this “rhomboidal dirge” in 1622:

                        Ah me!
                    Am I the swain
              That late from sorrow free
          Did all the cares on earth disdain?
      And still untouched, as at some safer games,
  Played with the burning coals of love, and beauty's flames?
Was't I could dive, and sound each passion's secret depth at will?
And from those huge o'erwhelmings rise, by help of reason still?
    And am I now, O heavens! for trying this in vain,
        So sunk that I shall never rise again?
          Then let despair set sorrow's string,
              For strains that doleful be;
                    And I will sing,
                        Ah me!

                        But why,
                      O fatal time,
                Dost thou constrain that I
          Should perish in my youth's sweet prime?
      I, but awhile ago, (you cruel powers!)
  In spite of fortune, cropped contentment's sweetest flowers,
And yet unscornèd, serve a gentle nymph, the fairest she,
That ever was beloved of man, or eyes did ever see!
    Yea, one whose tender heart would rue for my distress;
        Yet I, poor I! must perish ne'ertheless.
          And (which much more augments my care)
                  Unmoanèd I must die,
                    And no man e'er
                      Know why.

                      Thy leave,
                    My dying song,
                Yet take, ere grief bereave
            The breath which I enjoy too long,
        Tell thou that fair one this: my soul prefers
    Her love above my life; and that I died her's:
And let him be, for evermore, to her remembrance dear,
Who loved the very thought of her whilst he remained here.
  And now farewell! thou place of my unhappy birth,
      Where once I breathed the sweetest air on earth;
            Since me my wonted joys forsake,
                And all my trust deceive;
                    Of all I take
                      My leave.

                        Farewell!
                  Sweet groves, to you!
                You hills, that highest dwell;
              And all you humble vales, adieu!
          You wanton brooks, and solitary rocks,
      My dear companions all! and you, my tender flocks!
Farewell my pipe, and all those pleasing songs, whose moving strains
Delighted once the fairest nymphs that dance upon the plains!
        You discontents, whose deep and over-deadly smart
          Have, without pity, broke the truest heart.
              Sighs, tears, and every sad annoy,
                That erst did with me dwell,
                    And all other joys,
                        Farewell!

                          Adieu!
                    Fair shepherdesses!
                  Let garlands of sad yew
              Adorn your dainty golden tresses.
        I, that loved you, and often with my quill,
    Made music that delighted fountain, grove, and hill;
I, whom you loved so, and with a sweet and chaste embrace.
Yea, with a thousand rather favours, would vouchsafe to grace,
        I now must leave you all alone, of love to plain;
            And never pipe, nor never sing again!
              I must, for evermore, be gone;
                  And therefore bid I you,
                      And every one,
                          Adieu!

                        I die!
                    For, oh! I feel
              Death's horrors drawing nigh,
            And all this frame of nature reel.
          My hopeless heart, despairing of relief,
    Sinks underneath the heavy weight of saddest grief;
Which hath so ruthless torn, so racked, so tortured every vein,
All comfort comes too late to have it ever cured again.
    My swimming head begins to dance death's giddy round;
        A shuddering chillness doth each sense confound;
            Benumbed is my cold sweating brow
                A dimness shuts my eye.
                  And now, oh! now,
                        I die!

In 1968, conceptual artist Douglas Huebler used small bits of self-sticking paper to mark the vertices of two giant imaginary hexagons in Boston and New York. “The world is full of objects, more or less interesting; I do not wish to add any more,” he wrote later. “I prefer, simply, to state the existence of things in terms of time and place.”

Limerick

Said a boy to his teacher one day,
“Wright has not written rite right, I say.”
And the teacher replied,
As the error she eyed,
“Right! Wright: Write rite right, right away!”

“Memorumdrums”

Have Angleworms attractive homes?
Do Bumblebees have brains?
Do Caterpillars carry combs?
Do Ducks dismantle drains?
Can Eels elude elastic earls?
Do Flatfish fish for flats?
Are Grigs agreeable to girls?
Do Hares have hunting hats?
Do Ices make an Ibex ill?
Do Jackdaws jug their jam?
Do Kites kiss all the kids they kill?
Do Llamas live on lamb?
Will Moles molest a mounted mink?
Do Newts deny the news?
Are Oysters boisterous when they drink?
Do Parrots prowl in pews?
Do Quakers get their quills from quails?
Do Rabbits rob on roads?
Are Snakes supposed to sneer at snails?
Do Tortoises tease toads?
Can Unicorns perform on horns?
Do Vipers value veal?
Do Weasels weep when fast asleep?
Can Xylophagans squeal?
Do Yaks in packs invite attacks?
Are Zebras full of zeal?

“P.S. Shake well and recite every morning in a shady place.”

Charles E. Carryl

“To a Lost Sweetheart”

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Whistlers_Mother_high_res.jpg

When Whistler’s Mother’s Picture’s frame
Split, that sad morn, in two,
Your tense words scorched me like a flame —
You shrieked, “Ah, glue! Get glue!”

O Glue! O God! there was not glue
Enough in all the feet
Of all the kine the wide world through
To hold you to me, Sweet!

Don Marquis

Update

Catullus wrote this poem in the first century B.C.:

Mourn, o Venuses and Cupids
and however many there are of more charming people:
my girl’s sparrow is dead—
the sparrow, delight of my girl,
whom that girl loved more than her own eyes.
For he was honey-sweet and had known
the lady as well as a girl [knows] her mother herself,
nor did he move himself from that girl’s lap,
but hopping around now here now there
he chirped constantly to his mistress alone,
he who now goes through the shadowy journey
thither, whence they deny that anyone returns.
But may it go badly for you, evil shadows
of hell, who devour all beautiful things.
You have taken from me so beautiful a sparrow.
Oh evil deed! Oh wretched little sparrow!
Now through your deeds the eyes of my girl,
swollen with weeping, are red.

In 1912 G.S. Davies translated it into, of all things, a Scottish brogue:

Weep, weep, ye Loves and Cupids all,
And ilka Man o’ decent feelin’:
My lassie’s lost her wee, wee bird,
And that’s a loss, ye’ll ken, past healin’.
The lassie lo’ed him like her een:
The darling wee thing lo’ed the ither,
And knew and nestled to her breast,
As only bairnie to her mither.
Her bosom was his dear, dear haunt—
So dear, he cared na lang to leave it;
He’d nae but gang his ain sma’ jaunt,
And flutter piping back bereavit.
The wee thing’s gane the shadowy road
That’s never traveled back by ony:
Out on ye, Shades! Ye’re greedy aye
To grab at aught that’s brave and bonny.
Puir, foolish, fondling, bonnie bird,
Ye little ken what wark ye’re leavin’:
Ye’ve bar’d my lassie’s een grow red,
Those bonnie een grow red wi’ grieving.