“Belief in progress doesn’t mean belief in progress that has already occurred. That would not require belief.” — Kafka
Ethology
I had written about this back in 2006, but it’s worth mentioning again because someone has created this pellucid diagram: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo is a grammatical English sentence. It means something like “Bison residing in Buffalo, New York, feeling themselves intimidated by their fellows, visit a similar fate upon yet others of their local ilk.”
I’d attributed it to linguist William J. Rapaport, but apparently it’s arisen independently at least three times, first (it is believed) by wordplay maven Dmitri Borgmann, in 1965.
Root Words
Square roots:
EIGHTY-ONE has 9 letters.
ONE HUNDRED has 10 letters.
FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SIX has 24 letters.
Cube roots:
THIRTY-NINE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED FOUR has 34 letters.
SIXTY-EIGHT THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-ONE has 41 letters.
ONE MILLION and ONE BILLION have 10 letters each, making them a sixth root and (in the United States) a ninth root word.
(Dave Morice, “Kickshaws,” Word Ways 30:2 [May 1997], 129-141.)
10/26/2020 UPDATE: Reader Hans Havermann has found many more, including this alarming specimen:
341183 = ONE HUNDRED SIXTY-NINE SENONAGINTILLION, FIVE HUNDRED FIVE QUINONAGINTILLION, SEVENTY-SEVEN QUATTUORNONAGINTILLION, FIFTY-ONE TRENONAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTY DUONONAGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY-FOUR UNONAGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED THIRTY-EIGHT NONAGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED FIFTY-SIX NOVOCTOGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY OCTOCTOGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED NINETY-EIGHT SEPTENOCTOGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED FORTY-SEVEN SEXOCTOGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FORTY-EIGHT QUINTOCTOGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED FOUR QUATTUOROCTOGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY-SIX TRESOCTOGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED THIRTEEN DUOOCTOGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED THIRTY-THREE UNOCTOGINTILLION, NINE OCTOGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED SIXTY-FIVE NOVEMSEPTUAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN OCTOSEPTUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FIFTY-THREE SEPTENSEPTUAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED SEVENTY-TWO SESEPTUAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTY-EIGHT QUINSEPTUAGINTILLION, FIFTY-NINE QUATTUORSEPTUAGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED SIX TRESEPTUAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTEEN DUOSEPTUAGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED THIRTY-ONE UNSEPTUAGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED EIGHT SEPTUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE NOVEMSEXAGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY-SIX OCTOSEXAGINTILLION, TWELVE SEPTENSEXAGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED FORTY-SIX SESEXAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE QUINSEXAGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED FIFTY-SIX QUATTUORSEXAGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-TWO TRESEXAGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED FORTY-THREE DUOSEXAGINTILLION, FIVE HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE UNSEXAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-ONE SEXAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE NOVEMQUINQUAGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED FORTY-SIX OCTOQUINQUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-ONE SEPTENQUINQUAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED THIRTY-TWO SEXQUINQUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED SIXTY-SIX QUINQUINQUAGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED THREE QUATTUORQUINQUAGINTILLION, THIRTY-TWO TRESQUINQUAGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR DUOQUINQUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX UNQUINQUAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE QUINQUAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED TWO NOVEMQUADRAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY-EIGHT OCTOQUADRAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-NINE SEPTENQUADRAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FIFTY-SIX SEXQUADRAGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR QUINQUADRAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED FIFTY-FOUR QUATTUORQUADRAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED ELEVEN TRESQUADRAGINTILLION, TWO HUNDRED FIFTEEN DUOQUADRAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED SIXTY-SIX UNQUADRAGINTILLION, NINE HUNDRED TWELVE QUADRAGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED THREE NOVEMTRIGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED SIXTY-EIGHT OCTOTRIGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED SIXTY-THREE SEPTRIGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-THREE SEXTRIGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED NINETY-SIX QUINTRIGINTILLION, NINETY QUATTUORTRIGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED TRESTRIGINTILLION, FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY-SIX DUOTRIGINTILLION, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-ONE UNTRIGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED FIFTY-FOUR TRIGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED EIGHT NOVEMVIGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY-THREE OCTOVIGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED FOURTEEN SEPTENVIGINTILLION, THREE HUNDRED FOUR SEXVIGINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE QUINVIGINTILLION, SIX HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR QUATTUORVIGINTILLION, THREE HUNDRED SIXTY-FIVE TREVIGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY-SEVEN DUOVIGINTILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTEEN UNVIGINTILLION, FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY-TWO VIGINTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE NOVEMDECILLION, FOUR OCTODECILLION, SIX HUNDRED FORTY-FIVE SEPTENDECILLION, NINE HUNDRED SEVEN SEXDECILLION, FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY QUINDECILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED THIRTY-SEVEN QUATTUORDECILLION, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR TREDECILLION, TWO HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE DUODECILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED EIGHTY-ONE UNDECILLION, SIX HUNDRED SEVEN DECILLION, THREE HUNDRED FIFTY-TWO NONILLION, FIVE HUNDRED FORTY-THREE OCTILLION, FOUR HUNDRED NINE SEPTILLION, TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY-NINE SEXTILLION, ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-EIGHT QUINTILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED SEVENTY-SIX QUADRILLION, FORTY-EIGHT TRILLION, THREE HUNDRED NINETY-FOUR BILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED SEVENTY-ONE MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED EIGHT THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED THIRTY-ONE
The name of that number contains 3,411 letters.
(Thanks, Hans.)
Better Safe
In January 1943, a brick “hive” was built around Michelangelo’s David to protect it from incendiary bombs.
Two and a half years later, preservationist Deane Keller wrote to his wife, “The bright spot yesterday was seeing Michelangelo’s David at length divested of its air raid protection. It was dusty and dirty but it was a great thrill.”
(From Ilaria Dagnini Brey, The Venus Fixers, 2010.)
Scoops
In London the Standard newspaper, now defunct, had an effective method of ensuring it got news before its rivals. Every messenger bringing material or news reports to the Standard was given, on arrival, a blue ticket if it was a Government or official report and a red ticket for anything else. The tickets (a quart of beer for a blue ticket, a pint of beer for a red one) could only be redeemed at The Black Dog pub next door. This meant the Standard got its material first — and their rivals much later — since the messengers would always redeem their tickets before going on.
— N.T.P. Murphy, A Wodehouse Handbook, 2013
A Perfect Square
An old problem from the Soviet Mathematical Olympiad:
Find the 4-digit number aabb that is a perfect square.
Reliable
Yorkshire’s 4-mile Kiplingcotes Derby has been held every year since 1519, making it the oldest annual horse race in England. According to the ancient rules, if the race ever fails to take place, it must never be run again, so organizers make sure to arrange at least a nominal showing even in bad conditions. In 1947, 2001, and 2018 (harsh winter, foot-and-mouth crisis, heavy rain) the full race was not run but a single horse was led around the course to keep the tradition alive.
Another oddity: Under the rules the winner gets 50 pounds but the second-place finisher gets the remainder of the entry fees — so he may come out ahead.
One of a Kind
An unpaired word has a prefix or suffix that suggests that an antonym exists when in fact it doesn’t: disheveled is a word, but sheveled isn’t. In many cases the seeming antonym is a real word that’s fallen out of popular usage: corrigible, domitable, effable, feckful, gainly, nocuous, scathed, stinting, trepid, and wieldy are words; they’re just not used as often as their opposites.
Somewhat similarly, a plurale tantum is a noun that appears only its plural form: We speak of scissors and trousers, but not normally of “a scissor” or “a trouser.” A singulare tantum is a noun that’s used only in the singular, such as information, dust, or wealth.
(See “A Very Descript Man.”) (Thanks, Matt.)
Podcast Episode 311: A Disputed Russian Princess
In 1920, a young woman was pulled from a canal in Berlin. When her identity couldn’t be established, speculation started that she was a Russian princess who had escaped the execution of the imperial family. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the strange life of Anna Anderson and her disputed identity as Grand Duchess Anastasia.
We’ll also revisit French roosters and puzzle over not using headlights.
Risk Analysis
The Society of Actuaries holds a regular speculative fiction contest. Here’s an excerpt from “The Temple of Screens,” by Nate Worrell, FSA, MAAA, recognized last year for describing the “most innovative actuarial career of the future”:
‘Ever since humans began to be aware of a future, we’ve wanted to explore it. We’ve cast stones, searched in tea leaves, held the entrails of animals in our hands to try to extract some knowledge of our fate. Some of our stories try to show us that like Oedipus, we can’t change our fate. In other stories, we find an escape, we have the power of choice, at least to some degree. But in either case, knowing our future changes how we act. Now that you’ve seen your possible futures, they are tainted. If you were to go back in, they’d all change, reflecting that you had some knowledge. The algorithm would reallocate a new set of weights to your tendencies, increasing some behaviors and decreasing others.’
A wave of anger flashes through me, and I stand and start pacing. ‘So what’s the use of this?’
‘To help you embrace what’s possible, to come to terms with it. You came here because you were afraid of a certain future, one you hoped to avoid somehow. We can’t fight or flee from the future, whatever one we fall into. But we can find serenity in any of our futures, if we so desire.’