Ernest Hemingway published this “blank verse” in his high school literary magazine in 1916:
Get it? David Morice followed up with this “punctuation poem” in Word Ways in February 2012:
% , & —
+ . ? /
” :
% ;
+ $ [ \
It’s a limerick:
Percent comma ampersand dash
Plus period question mark slash
Quotation mark colon
Percent semicolon
Plus dollar sign bracket backslash
(Thanks, Volodymyr.)
Draw an arbitrary triangle and build an equilateral triangle on each of its sides, as shown.
Now show that AP = BQ = CR.
LEG and RUN share the same “bit” pattern in Morse code:
·-·· · --·
·-· ··- -·
So do EARN and URN (which are also homophones):
· ·- ·-· -·
··- ·-· -·
(Discovered by Philip Cohen.)
UPDATE: Reader Dave Lawrence wrote a script to find more of these. He found 2,900, including these highlights:
[one_third]TEMPT YAK[/one_third][one_third]ATTIC JINN[/one_third][one_third]SUAVE SINNER[/one_third]
[one_third]KILL TRUSTEE[/one_third][one_third]NIACIN BANNER[/one_third][one_third]CONVEX COBALT[/one_third]
[one_third]DRAIN NINETEEN[/one_third][one_third]WOMEN JOKE[/one_third][one_third]OMELETS TODDLE[/one_third]
[one_third]ENZYME APRON[/one_third][one_third]GOAT MEOW[/one_third][one_third]EMINENT PAINT[/one_third]
[one_third]ABSINTHE PHIALS[/one_third][one_third]NIPPLE BANANAS[/one_third][one_third]LEFTIE LEFTS[/one_third]
[one_third]CONTENT COCK[/one_third][one_third]DOTTY TUMMY[/one_third][one_third]PAPER WINGER[/one_third]
[one_third]EERIEST VISIT[/one_third][one_third]GENUINE GAVEL[/one_third][one_third]WETTEST ANGST[/one_third]
[one_third]SPEED SATIRE[/one_third][one_third]REUNITE LEPER[/one_third][one_third]COW COAT[/one_third]
[one_third]CINDER CURVE[/one_third][one_third]FUNK ELEMENT[/one_third][one_third]THOSE BAGS[/one_third]
[one_third]DELIVER BLISTER[/one_third][one_third]CAUSES CRASH[/one_third][one_third]DEFENSIVE THRASHER[/one_third]
[one_third]SKIN STAIN[/one_third][one_third]CHIMNEY CHUTNEY[/one_third][one_third]SOME VOTE[/one_third]
[one_third]PESKIER WHALER[/one_third][one_third]RANDY REMEDY[/one_third][one_third]ESTEEMED SAUCE[/one_third]
[one_third]MANGO TYPO[/one_third][one_third]TEXTUAL CANARD[/one_third][one_third]INANE FEZ[/one_third]
[one_third]REEXAMINE ASTEROID[/one_third][one_third]DEFILE BIBLE[/one_third][one_third]MILKMEN MIRROR[/one_third]
[one_third]BEAT THAT[/one_third][one_third]NEAREST DENTIST[/one_third][one_third]GRANDER GREMLIN[/one_third]
[one_third]TIGER TUNER[/one_third][one_third]SUCH HANDS[/one_third][one_third]INDEXED URINAL[/one_third]
[one_third]TICKLED NECTARINE[/one_third][one_third]JACK ATTACK[/one_third][one_third]GREENISH GLASSES[/one_third]
[one_third]BEBOP DUSTMAN[/one_third][one_third]PATIENCE WIZARD[/one_third][one_third]DRAMA NINJA[/one_third]
[one_third]BAROQUE BAROMETER[/one_third][one_third]NEURON BARON[/one_third][one_third]NEUTRON BACON[/one_third]
[one_third]DISK THEFT[/one_third][one_third]PAMPAS PEOPLE[/one_third][one_third]TROIKA COURT[/one_third]
[one_third]COLLIE TROLLS[/one_third][one_third]MINISCULE MINISKIRTS[/one_third][one_third]MATTED GORE[/one_third]
[one_third]INSULIN INHALER[/one_third][one_third]MEETING GETUP[/one_third][one_third]SELF SERVE[/one_third]
[one_third]KITTEN CAKE[/one_third][one_third]TRUTH CUBE[/one_third][one_third]CHAP TENSING[/one_third]
[one_third]PELICAN ABDICATE[/one_third][one_third]KALE TARTS[/one_third][one_third]TROUSER COUSIN[/one_third]
[one_third]VAST STREET[/one_third][one_third]DISTORTED DIVORCE[/one_third][one_third]BRUNETTE DELEGATE[/one_third]
[one_third]F*CKED ELEMENTAL[/one_third][one_third]MAIZE GNATS[/one_third][one_third]SPOUSE SWATTERS[/one_third]
[one_third]FIRMS INVADE[/one_third][one_third]CHIEF KISSER[/one_third][one_third]SWITCH SPACES[/one_third]
[one_third]THREE NESTS[/one_third][one_third]INVERTING FIRETRAP[/one_third][one_third]MOUSE OTTERS[/one_third]
[one_third]ANALYZE PARROTS[/one_third][one_third]AIMLESS RETCHES[/one_third][one_third]RAWHIDE RAPISTS[/one_third]
[one_third]MINIMAL GLANCE[/one_third][one_third]PRIESTS PRESIDE[/one_third][one_third]INBRED INTESTINE[/one_third]
[one_third]GUFFAW MILDLY[/one_third][one_third]MIDDAY GRAVY[/one_third][one_third]WONDER AMOEBAE[/one_third]
[one_third]PALE AXLE[/one_third][one_third]WHISKEY EMISSARY[/one_third][one_third]CAGED CAMEL[/one_third]
[one_third]MINTIER GENDER[/one_third][one_third]QUEER MAIDEN[/one_third][one_third]ASTERISK AIRLIFT[/one_third]
[one_third]SACRED SEQUEL[/one_third][one_third]ESPIED SEABED[/one_third][one_third]MAIM GNAT[/one_third]
[one_third]TURNIP TURBAN[/one_third][one_third_last]NIGHTIE NIGHTS[one_third_last]
John asked Clara
To take
A walk with him
And pick flowers.
But Clara’s brother
Came along
And so
They picked flowers.
— North Carolina Boll Weevil, 1922
ArnoldC, a language devised by Finnish computer programmer Lauri Hartikka, assigns programming functions to catch phrases from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Some keywords:
False: I LIED
True: NO PROBLEMO
If: BECAUSE I’M GOING TO SAY PLEASE
Else: BULLSHIT
EndIf: YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR LOGIC
While: STICK AROUND
EndWhile: CHILL
MultiplicationOperator: YOU’RE FIRED
DivisionOperator: HE HAD TO SPLIT
EqualTo: YOU ARE NOT YOU YOU ARE ME
GreaterThan: LET OFF SOME STEAM BENNET
Or: CONSIDER THAT A DIVORCE
And: KNOCK KNOCK
DeclareMethod: LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
MethodArguments: I NEED YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR MOTORCYCLE
Return: I’LL BE BACK
EndMethodDeclaration: HASTA LA VISTA, BABY
AssignVariableFromMethodCall: GET YOUR ASS TO MARS
ReadInteger: I WANT TO ASK YOU A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS AND I WANT TO HAVE THEM ANSWERED IMMEDIATELY
AssignVariable: GET TO THE CHOPPER
SetValue: HERE IS MY INVITATION
EndAssignVariable: ENOUGH TALK
ParseError: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG
This program prints the string “hello world”:
IT'S SHOWTIME TALK TO THE HAND "hello world" YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED
“There is a danger in being persuaded before one understands.” — Thomas Wilson
It was well remarked by an intelligent old farmer, ‘I would rather be taxed for the education of the boy, than the ignorance of the man. For one or the other I am compelled to pay.’
— Southern Cultivator, January 1848
The map of the continental United States contains an elf making chicken.
He’s known as Mimal, after the states that make him up: Minnesota (hat), Iowa (head), Missouri (shirt), Arkansas (pants), and Louisiana (boots).
Fittingly, the chicken is Kentucky and the tin pan is Tennessee.
naufrague
n. a shipwrecked person
In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll tell how Spanish authorities found an ingenious way to use orphans to bring the smallpox vaccine to the American colonies in 1803. The Balmis Expedition overcame the problems of transporting a fragile vaccine over a long voyage and is credited with saving at least 100,000 lives in the New World.
We’ll also get some listener updates to the Lady Be Good story and puzzle over why a man would find it more convenient to drive two cars than one.
