Extra!

Further ill-considered newspaper headlines gathered by readers of the Columbia Journalism Review:

MILK DRINKERS TURN TO POWDER (Detroit Free Press, Nov. 12, 1974)
COLUMNIST GETS UROLOGIST IN TROUBLE WITH HIS PEERS (Lewiston, Idaho, Morning Tribune, March 17, 1975)
STUD TIRES OUT (Ridgewood, N.J., News, March 30, 1978)
ALBANY TURNS TO GARBAGE (New York Daily News, Oct. 3, 1977)
PASTOR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION (Alamogordo, N.M., Daily News, Aug. 13, 1975)
TIME FOR FOOTBALL AND MEATBALL STEW (Detroit Free Press, Oct. 19, 1977)
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDEN (Buffalo Courier-Express, June 23, 1977)
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE (Atlanta Constitution, April 13, 1978)
DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE (Macon, Ga., News, Aug. 11, 1976)
CARIBBEAN ISLANDS DRIFT TO LEFT (Cleveland Plain Dealer, July 26, 1976)
NEW CHURCH PANNED (Albuquerque News, July 22, 1978)
CARTER TICKS OFF BLACK HELP (San Francisco Examiner, April 7, 1978)
DEER KILL 130,000 (Minneapolis Tribune, Dec. 7, 1967)
DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE (Lethbridge Herald, Oct. 30, 1976)
POLICE KILL MAN WITH AX (Charlotte Observer, Nov. 27, 1976)
YOUNG MAKES ZANZIBAR STOP (Wisconsin State Journal, Feb. 4, 1977)
CHESTER MORRILL, 92, WAS FED SECRETARY (Washington Post, April 21, 1978)
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE (Eugene, Ore., Register-Guard, Dec. 18, 1975)

When the Carmichael, Calif., chamber of commerce received relatively few applications for its 1975 beauty pageant, the local Courier ran the headline FEW HAVE ENTERED MISS CARMICHAEL.

See News to Us.

September 15, 2012September 14, 2012 | Language

Black and White

BCM chess problem

From the British Chess Magazine, January 1899. White to mate in two.

	Select Click for Answer
After 1. Qb1, Black must accept one of six different mates: 1. … d5 2. Qb6# 1. … g6 2. Qb2# 1. … Ng6 2. Ne4# 1. … Nxg4 2. Nxg4# 1. … Nf5 2. Qxf5# 1. … Ng8 2. Qf5#

September 15, 2012February 6, 2013 | Puzzles

Waste Not …

A puzzle from Polish mathematician Paul Vaderlind:

John is swimming upstream in a river when he loses his goggles. He lets them go and continues upstream for 10 minutes, then decides to turn around and retrieve them. He catches up with them at a point one half mile from the point where he lost them. Is the river flowing faster than 1 mile per hour? (Assume that John swims at the same strength throughout.)

	Select Click for Answer
Imagine an observer in a boat near the goggles. From her point of view, the goggles aren’t moving — John simply swims away from them for 10 minutes and will swim back in another 10 minutes (since he’s swimming at a constant speed). If the goggles have traveled half a mile in these 20 minutes, then the river is flowing at 1.5 miles per hour.

September 14, 2012February 6, 2013 | Puzzles

Pen Guidance

“The secret of playwriting can be given in two maxims: stick to the point and whenever you can, cut.” — W. Somerset Maugham

“I’ll give you the whole secret of short story writing, and here it is: Rule one, write stories that please yourself. There is no rule two. If you can’t write a story that pleases yourself, you’ll never please the public.” — O. Henry

September 14, 2012September 13, 2012 | Literature

In a Word

obambulate
v. to wander aimlessly

September 14, 2012September 13, 2012 | Language

Better Safe

Nohl Braun’s “neonatal net,” patented in 1990, prevents any untoward accidents as you’re entering the world:

The neo-natal device of the present invention comprises, essentially, a net having connecting members on each side thereof adapted for connecting the net between the delivery table and the attending obstetrician, whereby the net is suspended over the space between the delivery table and the obstetrician, to thereby provide a safety net for catching the newborn infant in the event that the baby accidentally slips from the hands of the obstetrician.

This is particularly useful if the mother is whirling on a centrifuge.

September 13, 2012September 12, 2012 | Technology

Twice Blessed

When Linus Pauling won his second Nobel Prize in 1962, he joked that receiving his second Nobel was less remarkable than receiving his first: The chance of anyone receiving his first Nobel Prize is one in several billion (the population of the world), while the chance of receiving his second is one in several hundred (the number of living people who have received one prize).

What’s wrong with this argument?

	Select Click for Answer
Nobel prize winners are chosen independently of past awards, so if Pauling’s chance of winning one prize was (say) 1 in 3,000,000,000, then he’d have the same chance of winning the second, and his chance of winning two would be 1 in 3,000,000,000². (Actually they’re considerably better than that — not everyone on Earth is equally deserving of the Nobel prize.) If we knew that the Nobel committee would award the 1962 prize only to an existing laureate, then Pauling’s argument would hold. (From The Ivan Morris Puzzle Book, 1972.)

Click for Answer

September 13, 2012February 6, 2013 | Puzzles

Self-Elaboration

INCONSISTENT is an anagram of N IS, N IS NOT, ETC.

September 13, 2012September 12, 2012 | Language

Another Fad

Before the existence of the association of clubs (1857), and when [baseball] was to be learned only from witnessing the practice and match games at Hoboken, the prejudice which existed against the game could scarcely be imagined. The favor with which it was regarded may be judged from the observation used by an accidental witness of a game who, after looking for a while, with unfeigned astonishment exclaimed: ‘I can’t see what fun such great, big men can find in hitting a little ball with a big stick and run away like mad, and kick at a sand bag.’

— DeWitt Baseball Guide, 1868

September 12, 2012September 11, 2012 | Entertainment · History

Side Issue

A conundrum by Russian puzzle maven Boris Kordemsky:

A work train composed of a locomotive and five cars has just stopped at a railway station when word comes that a passenger train is approaching. The smaller train must make way for it to pass through, but the station has only one siding, and this will accommodate only three cars (or an engine and two cars). How can it arrange to let the passenger train through?

	Select Click for Answer
The work train backs into the siding and uncouples its three rearmost cars. Then it moves forward a sufficient distance. The passenger train passes entirely through the station, backs into the siding, and couples these three cars. Then it moves forward again into the main railway, backs entirely through the station, and uncouples the three cars. The work train backs into the siding, which will now accommodate it, and the passenger train can move forward on its way. Now the work train can emerge from the siding and recouple the three waiting cars.

Click for Answer

September 12, 2012February 6, 2013 | Puzzles