Footloose

A visitor’s description of William Kingston, a Somerset farmer born without arms, recounted in John Platts, Encyclopedia of Natural and Artificial Wonders and Curiosities, 1876:

He highly entertained us at breakfast, by putting his half-naked feet upon the table as he sat, and carrying his tea and toast between his great and second toe to his mouth, with as much facility as if his foot had been a hand, and his toes fingers. … He then shewed me how he shaves himself with the razor in his toes; and he can comb his own hair. He can dress and undress himself, except buttoning his clothes. He feeds himself, and can bring both his meat or his broth to his mouth, by holding the fork or spoon in his toes. He cleans his own shoes, lights the fire, and does almost any domestic business as well as any other man. … He can milk his cows with his toes, and cuts his own hay, binds it up in bundles, and carries it about the field for his cattle. Last winter he had eight heifers constantly to fodder. The last summer he made all his hay-ricks. He can do all the business of the hay-field (except mowing) as fast and as well with his feet as others can with rakes and forks. … In a word, he can nearly do as much without as others can with their arms.

Roundabout

Poet Alastair Reid arranged unusual words into “garlands,” rings that end where they began:

What is a Tingle-Airey?

A tingle-airey is a hand organ, usually played on the street by the turning of a handle, and often decorated with mother-of-pearl or piddock shells.

What are Piddocks?

Piddocks are little mollusks which bore holes in rocks and wood, or in the breastsummers of buildings.

What is a Breastsummer?

A breastsummer is a great beam supporting the weight of a wall, and sometimes of a gazebo above.

What is a Gazebo?

A gazebo is a round balcony with large windows looking out on a view, often of ornamental gardens and cotoneasters.

What is a Cotoneaster?

A cotoneaster is a kind of flowering shrub, a favorite of mumruffins.

What is a Mumruffin?

A mumruffin is a long-tailed tit which often visits bird tables in winter for its share of pobbies.

What are Pobbies?

Pobbies are small pieces of bread thrumbled up with milk and fed to birds and baby animals.

What is Thrumbled?

Thrumbled is squashed together. Ants thrumble round a piece of bread, and crowds in streets thrumble round gongoozlers.

What is a Gongoozler?

A gongoozler is an idle person who is always stopping in the street and staring at a curious object like a tingle-airey.

Once you’ve traversed the list twice or thrice, he says, “you will be able to use them whenever you wish.”

End to End

Read word by word, this sentence is a palindrome:

Girl, bathing on Bikini, eyeing boy, finds boy eyeing bikini on bathing girl.

From a New Statesman competition:

Women understand men; few men understand women.
God knows man. What is doubtful is what man knows God.
Does milk machinery milk does?
Bores are people that say that people are bores.

A few more.

08/22/2026 UPDATE: From Walt Kelly’s comic Pogo:

Smile, wavering wings,
Above rains pour,
While hopefully sings
Love of shorn shore.

Shore shorn of love
Sings hopefully while,
Pour rains above,
Wings wavering, smile.

(“I don’t git it.” “That’s the clever part. It’s gotta be read backward.”)

(Thanks, David.)

Around the World

A brainteaser from the British intelligence agency GCHQ:

Explain the following: falkun, home de guerra, kick, lavoro, moed, mosca, raccordement, schafer, stobhach, tre, zevk.

Click for Answer

The Europa Redux Manuscript

https://www.instagram.com/europaredux/

In 2020 Brooklyn’s Honey & Wax Bookseller came into possession of a strange manuscript consisting of 7,000 illustrations, each 3 centimeters square. The images fill 106 loose sheets that often mimic European tourist brochures, and most bear captions that resemble no known language. The manuscript appears to have been created in Switzerland in the 1940s, but no one knows who created it or why. Notre Dame historian of science Robert Goulding wrote, “The fact that [the words] don’t seem to conform to any language or phonemes in any language is suspicious … suggesting to me that they are either a cipher, or there is some method or algorithm used to generate the words.”

The images can be viewed here; more information is here.

In Short

A letter from the king’s minister of finance to Zenon of Kaunos, a public official in Ptolemaic Egypt, 256 B.C.:

Apollonius to Zenon, greeting. You did right to send the chickpeas to Memphis. Farewell.

In The Complete Plain Words, his 1948 style guide for the British civil service, Sir Ernest Gowers calls this a model of concision.

A Wide Net

Entries in the index of Charles Cotton’s 1685 translation of Montaigne’s essays:

Ancient History how far respectable
Ants Conference
Arts taught to Men by other Animals
Books, immortal Children
Chearfulness Sign of Wisdom
Chewing accounted unbecoming
Clothes unknown to many Nations
Compositions that smell of Oil and the Lamp
Convenience, none without Inconvenience
Counsel’s Strength consists in Time
Desire of gathering Riches has no Limits
Dowry, great, Ruin of Families
Dying for Fear of Death
Elephant, discovering the Cheat of his Keeper
Feet performing the Service of Hands
Fortune often coincides with Reason
Foxes judging of the Thickness of the Ice by hearing
Goats trained up to give suck to Children
Greyhound’s Imagination
Head uncovered in the Presence of the Gods, why
Hedgehogs Foreknowledge of the Wind
Hospitals for Beasts
Kings and Coblers Souls cast in the same Mold
Lice cracked with the Teeth
Life, many Ways to get rid of it
Magpie that imitated the Trumpet
Monsters, whether there are such properly
Nations that sleep and wake by Half Years
Nobility, what
Opinion gives Weight and Value to Things
Parchment Scrolls tied about the Neck of Pericles
Parents dead Bodies eaten by their Children
Pedants despised
Pleasures wheedle and caress only to strangle us
Poverty obstinate
Prince ought to be himself in the Field
Revenge against inanimate Creatures
Skin of a Man, sufficient Proof against Weather
Trees buried in Winter
Utility, public, too dearly purchased
Women are more learned than Men in Love’s Business
Word of Men, their only Tye on one another
World a Looking-Glass and Book

The full index (in three volumes) is here, here, and here. It was added after Cotton’s death; I’m not sure who composed it.

Blow by Blow

For Song of the Sky (1954), Guy Murchie collected the names of winds around the world — he calls them “among the least known and most beautiful of words”:

Leste — warm easterly wind of January in the Madeiras
Naalehu — of Hawaii, blowing from the arid interior areas
Soo-oop-wa — bitter sand-laden wind of Southwest Africa
Steppenwind — of Germany blowing from the steppes
Bise — cold wind of France
Southerly burster — of Australia, preceded by an eerie lull
Tramontana — Alpine blast of the Italian east coast
Etesian — of cool summer afternoons in Greece and Levant
Siffanto — up from the hot heel of Italy
Kai — balmy south wind of China
Yamo oroshi — foehn of the steep valleys of Japan
Klod — Balinese wind that blows “downwards to the sea”
Reshabar — lusty and black, out of the high Caucasus
Mistral — down from the Cevennes to the Riviera
Ghost of Gouda — local gust on a calm night, South Africa
Vinds-gnyr — ancient blustery wind of Iceland
Wisper — whistling through narrow Rhine valleys
Imbat — refreshing North African shores
Virazon — cooling Montevideo on summer afternoons
Sz — first faint breeze of the Chinese autumn
Elephanta — of the Malabar coast

“Herodotus tells of the ancient people of Psylli (Tripoli) who became so hysterical when their wells dried up that they actually dclared war on the simoom and marched into the Sahara with clashing cymbals and beating drums until they disappeared forever into a red cloud of whirling sand.”

Post Holes

According to the International Mail Manual, it’s prohibited to send:

clocks to Algeria
fur to Australia
flypaper to Botswana
playing cards to Brazil
bicycles to China
leeches to Cyprus
absinthe to Germany
gardenias to Guatemala
bees to Iceland
fashion newspapers to Iran
fireworks to Ireland
sand to Israel
nutmeg to Italy
hoverboards to Japan
deer antlers to Kazakhstan
tea to Libya
cinnamon to Nepal
keys to New Zealand
pastries to Panama
vitamins to Peru
aspirin to Tunisia
eggs to Turkmenistan
honey to Zimbabwe

It’s illegal to send “daggers, sword-canes, brass knuckles, blackjacks, and other secret weapons” to Cote d’Ivoire.